Tory Policy Chief Declares Labour as “Party of Hope”

Tories are the Party of No Hope

by Matt Coot


“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope”

The Conservative Party’s very own Vice-Chairman for Policy, Chris Skidmore, has called the Labour Party, the “party of hope”. So that must make the Conservative Party ‘the party of no hope’.

According to Chris Skidmore, the Tories need policies that “resonate with the electorate demonstrating that we are on their side”. I have a few ideas on how they could have been achieving that:

  1. Fund the NHS and social care, so that the healthcare system in the UK can be working effectively. Also, stop lying about the “record levels” of funding the you’re not supplying.

  2. Extend free school meals to ALL children in primary schools and all those children in secondary schools who are living in poverty. Oh, and maybe, just maybe, don’t do sneaky, unethical, and discriminatory deals with the DUP as bribery to get their votes.

  3. Do not propose unnecessary and undemocratic policies that disenfranchise 1/4 of the electorate.

  4. Do not be responsible for forcing FIVE MILLION MORE PEOPLE to live in poverty.

  5. Do no freeze the pay of public sector workers. Here’s a hint: forcing one in seven public sector worker’s children into poverty, and forcing many of them to rely on food banks, is not the way you show that you’re on their side.

  6. You know that £670 MILLION that your Secretary of State for Housing had to return because it hadn’t been spent over the last two years? Spend it to build sufficient, sustainable, and affordable homes for the 169% more people that you were responsible for forcing onto the streets because they have no home.

  7. Reverse all changes you made to Corporation Tax, Inheritance Tax, Capital Gains Tax, and the bank levy, so that £70 BILLION could be made available for such things as the NHS and social care.

  8. Lower ALL MPs wages to the National Living Wage and reduce expenses to the bare minimum (London flat and living costs; transport from constituency to London; and constituency office costs) so that £5 MILLION can be available to spend on public services that benefit everyone. After all, we are all in this together.

  9. You know how you love stealing policies and pretending their your own? Well, steal the Lib Dem policy of putting a penny extra on Income Tax to raise £6 BILLION per year to be used on public services that benefit everyone.

  10. Another theft of policy by raising the tax on wealthy earners with 45% tax for those earning more than £80,000 and 50% on those earning more than £123,000. The IMF agree that this kind of tax is good for a country, especially as it lessens economic inequality. Also, it will mean that around £4.5 BILLION would be available to be used on public services that benefit everyone.

By adopting the ten policies mentioned above, the Conservative Party might just be able to con the public into believing that they’ve been on their side all along. Then again, maybe some of us won’t be able to forget what they’ve been responsible for. Maybe there will be some of us who will never forget the blood that they have on their hands. We won’t be able to forget that they made the poor even poorer and the rich even richer. We won’t be able to forget the devastation that the Tories forced upon the nation.

So, a message to the Tory Party and, in particular, Chris Skidmore…

If you want the public to believe that you are a party who are on our side, maybe you should have been behaving that way from the beginning. Your statement stinks of spin and conning the public. It sounds like you will do almost anything to make people believe you are on the public’s side… but, if you truly were, you would never have needed to say this in the first place. You wouldn’t say you need policies to make people believe it, because you would already have those policies in place.

I’m not like most in politics. I don’t believe in just one party being the way forward. I believe in a combination of ideals and policies, with a combination of experiences and leadership, to make this country a better and stronger place. However, I do believe that there is one party that will NEVER speak for the good of this nation, and that is the Conservative Party.

So maybe you’re right. Maybe Labour is the Party of Hope. Or, maybe, there are parties of hope. But you, the Conservative Party? No. You’re just hopeless.



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